Good Primus above, is that really a Starscream I see on the listings! Hey, dude! What's up!

[a pause.]

Ah! Right, my name's Riptide. I'm an Autobot, yadda yadda, don't care. I just need to know now that I know alternate universes are a thing, are you Starscream, Leader of Cybertron or someone else?

[he could ask something else, but figures that bringing that leadership thing up is the way to go.]